(See below)

Last week, Japanese scientists explaced... Placed explosive detinators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness, to blow Nessie out of the water. Sakord Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland's local wizards to cast a protective spell on the lake, and it's local residents, and all those who seek for the peaceful existance of our underwater ally.

'Allo.

Would you like to know something? Yes? Good. There was a time when I thought that all individuals who sent in their mission "papers" would be good, committed individuals who were going on a mission because it is their duty and they would like to fulfill it. That, unfortunatley, is not the case. While almost all missionaries that I have encountered are that kind of individual, there is an exclusive club that is on the completely opposite end of the spectrum. The people of whom I speak, those who treat the MTC as if it is a playground as they wait to embark on a 2-year, pre-paid vacation are... The English Elders. (OK, so, in reality, most of them do not fit the description outlined above, but it seems that a higher percentage do than of any other MTC denomination). Let me give you an example. We were in our residence hall, preparing for the day after exercise time, when one of the members of our zone casualy walks into the bathroom. To his shock, some of the English elders who share a floor with us were in there, listening to music, and cutting each other's hair. (Two things that it specificaly says not to do in the White Handbook). Well, we contacted the front dest, security rushed into the building, and all of those Elders, who thought they were safe from the long arm of the law in their apartment, ended up having talks with their District Presidents. (Those are basically stake presidents of the MTC). Let that be a lesson to yeh about obedience.

Well, there's the rant out of the way.

We got our new district on Wednesday. It was swell, now that we're not the new kids in the zone anymore. We now have someone to bestow our wisdom upon. The district has 4 elders and 3 sisters. They're all still a little clueless, but it's wearing off. They'll soon just be a regular part of the zone.

As you may have heard, the Provo temple is closed for a few weeks, so, unfortunatley, that means that we won't be going until January. (We'll still be here, though, so we'll get to go at least another time or two). We do get to help clean it today, though, which will be fun. I've never done temple cleaning before, so it'll certainly be an exiting experience.

What else, what else...

Oh, here's something that I can't believe I haven't asked yet... How are the choke Joe fests going? I certainly hope you've been carrying on the age old tradition of our forefathers.

Another item of import... It has been confirmed that the calls will be done through Skype. I'm pretty sure I'll be calling around 1:00. I made my account this week, using my church email, so that's what its gonna be.

Speaking of Christmas, I'm getting very exited. We got the schedule this week. I'll try to attatch it to this email so you can see what I'm in for. It'll be pretty great. We're having a general authority speak, and everyone knows it's gonna be an apostle. We've been due for one for a few weeks now, but it looks like they're making us wait until Christmas. I'm definitely eagerly awaiting the holiday, even though it will certainly be different than any Christmas I've experienced previously.

I don't know if I mentioned this last week, but my companions and I were made branch music coordinators. It's more work than you would think, as we have to put together five hymns and three special musical numbers for this upcoming sunday, which is sort of tricky in a branch of 21 where very few of the members are willing to perform and the branch presidency dosent want any of the numbers to be the same thing. We've got it worked out, though.

Well, I hope to hear from you throughout the week. It's wierd to think that before I leave the MTC, I'll aready be a twelfth of the way through my mission. It dosen't seem so long when you put it that way.

See ya!

P.S. I always forget what the type of haircut I always get is. Could you please attatch that information in your next email?

P.P.S. Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December when ol' Jacob M Rivera came a-knocking at my door.

"Sir" he cried "please dont forget me, but a praising hymn compose me, sing my praises 'round the coastline of a long forgotten shore."

"Well" I answered, somewhat smiling "I will start right now, compiling all your glories to a poem all about your life and lore"

So I betook myself to linking fancy unto fancy, thinking what this man had done in life to earn this praise.....

That's as far as I got. It's somewhat tricky to model a poem after "The Raven"

P.P.P.S. I can't believe I forgot to include a Noah referance in my last email: "The batter on these bad boys? Oh my gosh, that's ridiculous man!"