What're you gonna do today Napoleon?

November 26, 2018

Ni-Howdy Hey!

This is your son/grandson/brother/cousin/nephew Ben! (I don't know who all is gonna be reading this, so I figure I should be inclusive). I found out that the church actually had my name changed to "Elder" for the duration of my mission, but I'm feeling nostalgic about my old name today, so... Here we are. I'm actually planning on attaching some photos to this one, so be prepared. 

So, how're things goin' 'round the ol' neighborhood? I hope you're all well. Thanksgiving was pretty good over here. We had three (count 'em, three) devotionals. Elder Uchdorf spoke at one of them. His talk was pretty good. The "Thanksgiving meal" (I can't call it a dinner, since it was at 11 am) had everything you'd expect. Turkey, rolls, potatoes, cranberry sauce, etc. On that note I have found out my least favorite food... School/MTC mashed potatoes!!! It's like you took some glue, threw some seasonings in, and then mixed in some sand. They are literally gritty, and I have no idea what causes them to be that way. We also did a service project, which was making instant meals for the Utah Food Banks. It was actually kinda fun. The rest of my zone was very impressed with my tape gun skills.

Anyway, lets get down to the neety greety (Almost as much as the mashed potatoes). Much like at Clavius, there is an epidemic spreading through my residence hall. This time, though, it's no mere cover story for the discovery of an ancient buried monolith. Some people are just coming down with minor cases of the sniffles (this is my companion and I, thankfully), and some are getting full-blown cases of strep throat. One Elder in my district legitimately had to go to the hospital! (Admittedly, this is not as bad as it sounds. He just happened to get sick on a day when the MTC health clinic was closed for Thanksgiving, and the closest insta-care just happens to be at a hospital).

Oh, and I understand Utah won? I haven't received much straight talk on the matter. The only thing was "They put some drives together for the win" (thanks, pops). 

Not to sound to naggy, or anything, but could somebody please send details? I would defiantly like to hear about a 20-point comeback (if, indeed, that was what it was). Thank you. (And yes, I still know what football is).

I would now like to give my personal thanks to everybody who sent me mail. Please thank my beloved relatives, Lethia Heumann and co., for the hat. I would send them a thank-you note, but I threw away the package before I got the letter-sending stuff, and I can't remember their address. Also everyone in my room greatly appreciates the snack food that you guys have sent. I'll admit, I did eat the almonds all by myself, because they were the greatest things I've ever tasted, but other than that, everything has gone around. We've got a decent stockpile at this point. 

Oh and those verity rolls you sent were delicious, but can you please not send any more? Less than half have been eaten so far, because everyone else is too nice to have any, even though I keep urging them to.

On a final note, I would like to do something that I'm sure will get me labeled as "Needy Ben." I hate asking you guys for stuff, but if you could please send me a lint roller and like two more pairs of garments? (I technically have enough, but if something happened to one of the pairs, I would no longer have enough, as I'm barely squeaking by week-to-week). I would give you the most sincere of thanks for these services.

-Needy Ben (Or, Needy Elder, as I should probably start calling myself).

P.S. Here you go.

P.P.S. You accidentally sent me a female temple name, but, not to worry, one of the sisters did it this morning.